Cloches

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." - Kahlil Gibran


I so frequently use nature as a metaphor, because I find most that affects me in here can also be experienced out there.


Just a few days ago I realized I wanted to plant some new seeds in my life and nurture them, and myself until I saw the fruit of those fresh ideas.   Whiling away a few minutes at the local T.J. Maxx I bumped into what I  called a most fortuitous find.  There, hidden behind and amongst many broken items in one of the clearance shelves was a cloche and dish, with basil seeds included.  I wish I had taken a picture once I had planted the seeds and set the glass cloche on top to nurture them, because the entire piece, seeds and all represented the in here aspect of what that ensemble was.  My husband had also made note at how quickly the seeds germinated and new life sprang forth.  I was overjoyed, knowing that what I was seeing externally was probably also happening internally - that's just how I tend to see things.


Today was not such a fortuitous day.  This morning one of my children accidentally broke the cloche.  The glass covering that was protecting those fragile and germinating seedlings.  I felt as if my heart were broken.  That glass cloche, fragile though it was, provided just the right temperature control, light, and moisture for the basil seeds.  I worried that without the protective covering the seedlings would probably die...and quickly.  What might that say of my own freshly planted internal seeds?  Was I protecting them well enough; giving the new seeds of thought just the right amount of what they needed; and just how well was I protecting them, so they could find root and flourish?  I spent the better part of the day trying to find a replacement cloche.   And. I. Failed.  There was not another to be found.  


As I pulled into the driveway home, I asked, out loud, if perhaps there was a lesson there for me, something bigger I needed to pay attention to.  Not that I wanted a bigger life lesson to matter mind you, I was still consumed with wanting to protect those out there seedlings, knowing full well they represented the in here seeds that were germinating.

Here, the unprotected basil seeds.

 My lesson came soon enough as I looked over at my daughter, explaining to her that I wasn't upset with her for breaking the cloche.  I was upset because of what the seeds in the dish and the cloche represented to me.  Too little, too late.  She couldn't, even as a young teenager, understand my explanations; instead she understood my frustration and hurt; the all that she had witnessed and experienced today as I rushed around looking for another bell jar.  Thinking back, I wish I had understood myself enough earlier in the day so that I could explain to her the process I was dealing with.  It still might not have made a difference, but she wouldn't have had to go through the day with me bemoaning and her thinking she had ruined something so precious that my reaction was worthy of dropping everything to fix the problem (or replace broken glass, as the case may be).

Basil seeds under turned upside down trifle dish.

Ultimately, coming home empty handed was probably a blessing.  Being without what I consider to be the perfect answer to a problem leads me to imagination and adventure.  Though certainly not as pretty as the initial cloche I had purchased, I was able to make due with a turned upside down trifle dish.   Will the new covering protect the seedlings as well as the perfectly designed cloche?  I don't know.  I hope so.  


What I do know is, I remember at one point wondering if there was a bigger lesson in this one days event.  I now wonder if perhaps the broken cloche was a metaphor regarding my own concerns for protection of newly sprouted internal seedlings.  Maybe, just maybe those ideas will grow strong and bear fruit - even without whatever protective covering I had been using to keep everything perfect.  In the meantime, I'll watch over the out there seedlings as they grow; and most importantly, I will remember that I plant seeds all day every day - especially as I interact with those I hold close and love dearly.  I may after-all be someone else's temporary cloche.